Have you ever felt like you were the loser in a situation and afterward when you’d had time to think over what happened, you felt like you are the winner? In our world, a loser is a person who is at the bottom, the person who did not receive the big trophy, the person everyone looks at with sympathy in their eyes, and sometimes it’s the person people laugh at. When I lost, I felt like the word defined me: “Looser”. I felt worthless and that I did not deserve to win and that the other person was better than me.
During the Coronavirus Era, I am reading about marriages breaking apart and friendships destroyed and relationships that should be treasured are taken for granted and discarded. This brought to mind what happened to me a while ago when a relationship I honored and treasured was destroyed by lies and deceit, and I felt the loss as if someone I loved had died. I felt like a loser because I thought a huge portion of my life was over with the breakup of this friendship and that I was at the bottom of the pile.
Through this seemingly unbearable loss, I was able to critically analyze myself as a person and to finally see aspects of the broken relationship that I had refused to accept. I had thought this friendship would always be a part of my life and the most devastating aspect about this was that it happened at a time when I needed the support of this relationship and what I thought it had to offer.
Now, when I look back at that failed relationship and how much I have gained and consequently learned about myself, I am so grateful to God for indeed “I Am a Winner”. Great as the loss was, I have a joy and peace now that I never had before. I was able to reassess my life and cleaned up my emotional stockroom. Through this self-discovery, I realized that I had developed an emotional clinging personality that depended on the approval and affirmation of relationships.
I have now found a peace that I did not know was missing from my life. My family came to my rescue. They rallied around me, embraced me, and loved me through the hurt, pain, and tears. With this newfound peace, I can claim victory in my loss. I lost friendships that I treasured but I have become a winner of the ultimate gift: Peace of mind.
My gift to you: Some relationships are not healthy when you are the only one giving. People will take, take, take, take, and take until they suck you dry. When you are in the relationship, you cannot feel the blood leaving your body until they suddenly let go. Then you realize that you are almost out of your air and blood supply. Count yourself a winner when you suffer such losses. It’s time to pick yourself up and get on with life. Live your most fulfilling life and enjoy your newfound freedom. Never forget: Do not replace the blood-sucking emotionally draining relationships for new ones. Learn from the former relationships and allow your heart to heal before entering another relationship. When you are ready, you can enter a leveled playing field of friendships where there is give and take and not one that is lecherous and so draining. That, my friend, is the gift for today.
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