As I write the blogs for my Afrishea site each month, I reflect on what is happening in my life and in the world and sometimes even what is going on in loved ones lives. I am sure you can relate somewhat to some of what is written in the blogs.
I am always amazed at how people who offend others will turn the situation so it seems like the offended becomes the offender.
I have a close friend who has not been active as a friend and all of the sudden, I am being accused of not returning 1 phone call made to me after I’ve repeatedly called her. We must not forget our humanity and frailty. Own up when you are too busy to respond to countless text messages and calls. It is alright. Life happens to all of us and sometimes we cannot be as available as we once were. Tell your friends that you are busy and that you are going through Life and will be able to get in touch when you can breathe freely. It’s alright.
Sometimes, we are so used to carrying the weight of everyone’s burdens that we have developed a Superman/ Superwoman complex and we find if very difficult to say no when asked to fill in or do things even though our own personal lives is overwhelming us. It’s alright to say No.
We even find it difficult not to take care of everyone else even though we need to “self-care” ourselves and not be bothered with everyone else.
A friend explained her situation with her family to me and I told her to set boundaries. We do not have to be available all the time. It’s alright to say to our family members and friends when they come to us with their problems to ask, ‘What are your ideas in resolving this issue”. Let them see that they too have the power to resolve issues and you are not the only “golden child”.
I used to be one who was always available for everyone and then I had to empower people with some self-help strategies so they can resolve their own issues.
It’s great to feel needed but it is a crying shame to want to be everyone’s first call in any emergency. If we do not empower the people in our lives, we will be stripped and sucked dry and slowly but surely we will become resentful and bitter.
Self-Care is Self-Love.
Remember to love yourself FIRST before you can love others.
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